My baby girl is 4

Dear Lily,

4 days ago, you celebrated your 4th birthday. We started the countdown 5 days prior to that, and each night before bedtime you would know how many "sleeps" until it was your birthday. Gran, Grampa and Uncle Shane were here for your birthday, so the apartment was decorated and filled with love when you woke up on your special day.

It's been a whirlwind summer so far, but through the chaos I've seen one pretty big recent change. You now are an expert climber! You are suddenly climbing steadily to the tops of playground equipment that before I would have never dreamed I'd see you at the top of! And you are finding ways to climb things that don't have a conventional ladder, like the (stationary) horse-drawn wagon at the park. You clambered up and over the wheel into the back of the wagon like you'd been doing it all along. And the mountain-climbing walls are no match for you, either. The monkey bars are your next goal. There aren't any short monkey bars we've found around, but with me supporting a bit of your weight from below, you are able to swing yourself across the tall ones no problem!

Your creative side has remained a constant presence around the house. I find your little doodles and signature everywhere - on bills, on the mail, on my day planner, anywhere that paper and any kind of writing instrument is close at hand, there is a doodle.

Your drawings have started to have definite character. Like this doodle you did on the ferry coming back from Vancouver Island the day before your birthday:
Clearly, a butterfly with fuzzy slippers standing on a flower. Gran loved this drawing so much that we sent it home with her to it's place of honour on her fridge.

Yesterday you did portraits of Tatus and I:


Mommy

Tatus

You are becoming quite a painter, too. Watercolour is your favourite right now. You painted these butterflies recently, and as you showed me, proclaimed "I'm the best painter EVER!" I love your confidence!

And, oh, how you love to dance. Every now and then I'm able to ignore my own awkwardness and twirl and skip right along with you. But most of the time, I'm just a captive audience. You do dance so well, and watching how you interpret the music of Vivaldi with your body was one of the greatest moments of my life.

Right up there with your year-end piano recital. I can't believe I didn't write about this in June. It was originally going to be a recital in a church or hall, but there were some difficulties so it was just the families of your classmates and we had the recital in your teacher's house. There were still over 20 people in the room, and you'd been hesitant before to play in front of your classmates, so this recital, your decision to go up and play all on your own when you felt comfortable with it, well, it was a pretty big moment!


It's funny, I never realized that with having kids I'd be watching an entire person grow and develop. I mean, I knew that, but to watch the tiny characteristics appear, and how I get to know you a little better every day, well, I had no idea I was in for so much fun. Imaginary things are very fun these days. You and Lukasz are always sneaking up to me and yelling "Surprise! It's your birthday!!!" and then giving me a big piece of invisible cake complete with plate and fork. And then with a wide sweeping motion of your arms you show me all the (also invisible) decorations and balloons.

Then there's the way you are always wanting to share your food with me, or when we sit down to yet another dinner of chicken, rice and raw veggies and you say "Thank you for the delicious food, Mommy".

Sigh.

There are so many ways I feel I could be such a better mom, but you do in your own little ways make me feel very special every day.

One area I feel I have really succeeded in as far as being a mom goes is BOOKS. Most days I read books with you two until my mouth dries out. Our library basket is always being refilled and we get to the library every one or two weeks.

One recent evening you surprised me by "reading" (describing) an entire Richard Scarry book to Lukasz, telling him what was going on on each page, it took over 10 minutes, enough time for me to put the finishing touches on dinner and get it on the table. My next goal in this area is to have a story-drawing area with some premade little paper books that you can fill with drawings and I can help you write the story that goes with them. We'd done this months back and I'm excited to see what you and Lukasz come up with now.

You also have quite the affinity for flowers. On a recent visit to Kelowna you got to help Gran pick out some flowers for her baskets and you were thrilled with the task. Of course, the first pink flowers you saw were the ones you wanted! :)
In the springtime when gardens were in full bloom, the constant refrain from the backseat was "Mommy look at those flowers. Look! Look!" And when we are on walks you are always cupping blooms in your hands and coaxing me over to take a closer look at each one.

You are a special, special little lady. And you do bring me joy each day. I feel so very very lucky to be your mom. I don't know that there is any feeling more powerful than a parents' love for a child. I've never felt anything quite as strong as the love I have for you and Wooch. I'm so very proud of you, of your interests and of your accomplishments.

This is going to be a big year for you, starting preschool (which is a whole other post!), starting dance lessons, and I wish many days of sunshine and happiness for you.

I love you sweetheart.

Love,
Mommy

changes

At the end of September/beginning of October, Lukasz turned 19 months old (and Lily turned 38 months old). He also started to talk. Not in full sentences, but he would surprise me with a new word or two each day. Now his favourite phrase seems to be "no-wan", or "don't want". He keeps reminding me of a teenager, but then I realize it's only the soon-to-be terrible 2s rearing their ugly head. He still has the sweetest way of saying please: "pweeeeeeezh", which Lily now can and does imitate perfectly. And my morning alarm clock is now the sound of him going "Mommeeeeeeeeeeee! Mommeeeeeeeeeeee!" Why can't he say "Tatuuuuuuuuuuuuus!"? Sigh.

He still says "uppa" when he wants to be picked up, and "um um" for when he wants to eat, combined with trying to crawl up his chair. I don't think I blogged about the changes to his chair yet; he used to sit in his booster seat with tray on a chair separate from the table, just like a regular high chair, while Lily sits up to the table with us in her booster seat. Lukasz's eating habits were pretty extraordinarily horrible. He'd consistently tip his sippy cup and let it pour out all over his tray, upend his plate and throw his food on the floor.

I first realized he hated to have me feed him when he whipped out an "a-do-i", which was his way of saying "I'll do it", so I handed the spoon over. Then, a few weeks ago, I rearranged the table settings so he sits at one end of the table up at the table just like Lily. And I could not BELIEVE the change in his eating habits. Suddenly he was Mr. Perfect Eater. He dropped all his old habits of throwing and spilling food and drink, and is now even picking up food that he accidentally drops on the place mat or into his bib, and putting it back on his plate. He eats by himself like a pro, and there's even been times where he'll eat everything on his plate and have MORE. And when he's done, he'll say "all done" and pick everything up and hand it to me.

It's like my mom keeps telling me, a child's biggest goal is to grow up.


Lily has started keyboard lessons; it's a really interesting way of teaching such young kids... the focus is mostly on learning the difference between high and low, and loud and soft, and keeping a steady beat, like the hop, hop of a rabbit. But Lily also now knows where all the D and F keys are on the keyboard, thanks to the dreadful, dancing dinosaur in his dinosaur den (the two black keys) and Fireman Fred's firehall (the three black keys). The leftmost black key is the fire pole which the fireman slides down and then lands on his F key. I was really confused at first, but now I can see Lily keeping steady beats with her castanet while singing a song and it just blows me away. She heard a Beethoven song and said "It's piano soft" and then when it got louder "it's forte loud". She loves loves LOVES music and dancing and singing, and I'm learning a lot through being in these classes, too. I'm not good at memorizing but I'll now never forget where the D and F key are, that's for sure!

They both have started showing a real interest in looking at books by themselves (HOORAY!, not the by themselves part so much, but the fact that they independently choose to look at one, without me saying "okay I'm going to read you a book", because, I admit, I want them to love reading as much as I do). Lily has memorized a couple of books, "Brown bear, brown bear, what do you see?", "The wheels on the bus" and "Down by the station". It helps that the last two are songs. She's "read" books to Lukasz a few times now, and it's really sweet to see. With Lukasz's increased vocabulary has come the greater interest in books, and he loves to call out things he sees and recognizes "plane! fwain (train)! ball! beebee (baby)! bee! moon! sun! star! wee ohh wee ohh (fire truck)!" etc. He knows the sounds a lot of animals make and he names them like that as well: oof oof, kak kak, meow. :)

The biggest change that's happened in the last couple of weeks is that Lily no longer naps during the day.

UGH.

But, I have taught her from the start that I need to do some cleaning and things like that while Lukasz naps, so she's getting better at entertaining herself. I play with her and help her with things as well, but at least this way she doesn't expect me to be by her side for his entire nap.

The sweet part about no naps for her? They are both in bed by 8:30 at night. I seriously never thought the day would come. When she was napping she was rarely in bed before 10 p.m., obviously the nap was giving her a total second wind.

So now we've reached a new phase in parenting, new challenges, new rewards, a new level of required energy... but overall it's a great time. :)

♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

Letter to Lukasz: month 18

Dear Lukasz,

A few days ago you turned 18 months old... here's what you've been up to lately:

Words:
Hi
shesh = czesc (Hi in Polish)
Gangs = thanks
Pweeezh = please
Tatus
Mama
Yiye = Lily
Done
All Done
Bye guy = bye-bye
la la = doll
deesh = this
Gwan = all grandparents, I think. :)
NO!
YES! (both of these are only used when having a No! Yes! fight with Lily)
gog = dog
oof oof = dog bark
choo choo = train sound

We've had a rough couple of months with your increasing independence. I can't fault you for it at all, of course you want to explore everywhere. But you developed this habit of just zooming off, no matter where we were, without a backward glance. I had to develop some major kid radar to keep track of both you and Lily when we were out on park excursions. I have to say, though, that in this past week you are much more willing to stop when I ask you to wait for Lily and I to catch up to you. In fact, today you ran way ahead, but I called to you and asked you to wait and you stopped, looked back at me, and waited! The norm for you previously was to stop, look back at me, give me the cheekiest grin, and keep right on running. Whew, you've given me a few scares, but it's wonderful to see how interested you are in everything and how much you want to explore.

This past month you've also perfected the art of the meltdown. I think the combined heat and teething hasn't helped your mood any, but boy do you ever let us know when you are upset! I've finally discovered that the primary cause of your meltdowns is when we try to control or guide you physically in any way. For instance, if you aren't allowed in the bathroom while Lily is going potty, or if it's time to get your diaper changed, or if I need to hold you to put your shorts on... I hope soon you realize that we really put very few limitations on what you can do and where you can go... Fortunately these spells are not too frequent; you are often still our dimpled, giggly little boy.

You and Lily seem to interact pretty well for the most part. There are those times when one of you has a toy or object and as soon as the other sees that, they want it. Yelling and tug-of-wars follow... but I have to say you are lucky to have Lily for a sister because if she has taken something from you and I tell her to give it back, she does. She watches out for you, too, especially at the park. She'll often come up to me and say "Where's Lukasz?" and when I point you out to her, she'll run to you to see what you are up to.

You've made up a few games you love. One being the "bounce on mama" game, a video of which I posted earlier. The other is a game where you scare or startle us. You will run up to me going "ah, ah, ah, ah...AAAAHHH!" ending in a loud shriek. You've come around corners at Lily a number of times and really startled her, which pleases you to no end.

Your favourite activities these days include playing with your cars, running and splashing in the spray park (you are not a fan of the wading pool yet), climbing anything and everything you can find (strollers, shelves, stools, Babcia and Dziadek's KITCHEN TABLE), and jumping. Oh how you love to jump. It's not a full two-footed jump yet, more like a very energetic skip. Grampa noticed on one of our recent visits that you like to walk up any little hill, like the incline of a driveway, and then skip/jump/run down it. I noticed the same thing during one of our walks around Lafarge Lake. You walked up, up, up a fairly steep grassy embankment, turned around and just let your legs go as you bounced and ran down that hill. You've perfected figuring out how much to lean back, which amazed me. But it's true, you never fall forwards down a hill.

The kitchen table story is one that will be told for years to come, I'm sure. I was watching you and Lily while we were at Babcia and Dziadek's one evening. They were out of town and Tatus was installing alarm contacts to their new front and back doors. The three of us were in the living room but you ran out into the kitchen. In the time it took me to get up from where I was sitting on the couch and follow where you had gone you had already climbed onto a kitchen chair and from there on to their kitchen table, which you had just started walking across when I came into the kitchen. Of course you just stood there and grinned at me, proud as punch of what you'd accomplished.

Times like these I can feel myself getting gray hair.... but I've also seen how cautious you can be about getting down from places you've climbed. When you are on the couch, our bed or Lily's bed you always flip over onto your tummy and slide feet first off. You went through a brief phase of trying to slide off from a seated position, but you face-planted on the floor one too many times, I guess.

During calmer moments, like when you need to have some chill out time, or you are going down for a nap or sleep, you love to have your blanket with you. The blanket is one that Babcia made for you and it is tough to get you to sleep without it. You love the corners, twiddling them with your fingers or biting on them. I always check on you two before I head to bed, and I often see you sleeping with a corner of your blankie still clutched in your hand, all innocence.

I love you Woochie.

Mama

Letter to Lily: month 34

Dear Lily,


What an amazing week this has been for you!

You've almost completely busted out of your little shell of shyness.

Last Sunday we went to an open house for a local Montessori preschool. It was in its own mini building, fenced in with grass and outdoor play equipment all around. Inside there was plenty of things to do and see, and I think the part that made you smile the most was the tiny toilet, just your size.

We stayed for about an hour and a half, inside and out, letting you and Lukasz both explore it, and you even talked a little bit to the teacher! That evening, we decided we would send you there part time starting in September (Monday, Wednesday and Friday afternoons). The morning sessions were full, so I hope you're going to be okay with afternoon sessions.

On Monday I took you and Lukasz to see the preschool in session; you sat down with one girl and drew a picture of fireworks and got to meet some of the other children, some of which will be in your class next year. When we left, the teacher said bye to you and as we headed to the door, a few of the kids yelled "bye Lily!" and then a few more chimed in until the whole class was calling out "bye Lily!" after us. You were a bit overwhelmed but I thought it was really sweet. I got a really good feeling being there, it's calm and quiet and safe (they lock all the doors from the inside when they are in there) and I think you're going to have a lot of fun and meet a lot of great kids.

On Tuesday we went to Circle of Friends for the first time in a long time. I was so glad to see that Karin was there; she is one of your absolute favourite people. They had a lot of catching up to do and you had so much to say. You always spends most of our time there at the craft table and today was no exception. You did a bunch of "rubbings", and when we got home I had to find something quick that you could use to do more rubbings.

On Wednesday, you had your first big girl haircut at a salon. The hair around your face really needed to be fixed up, I'd done a bit of a number on it while trying to get it to stay out of your face. You sat in the big chair and let the lady spritz your hair with water and were so good about not moving while your hair was cut. And... you got two pretty blue clips in your hair when the lady was all done. You sure walked out of that salon with your head held high!

Thursday was a momentous day. You've officially started potty training!!! We'd tried to start you now and then earlier, but you just weren't ready and I didn't want to force you and fight with you about it, because really it's something you just has to do when you are ready. We went out for a little hike in the morning and then when we got back at 11:30, I took your diaper off and you ran around bare-bottomed. You didn't pee and didn't pee and I wasn't going to take you guys out again until you did pee, just in case you were waiting for a diaper to pee into (which I think is what you had started to do the last time I tried to potty train you). Well, you finally went down for a nap around 4 p.m. without having peed, and stayed dry throughout the nap and then finally at 5:45, you said "I need to pee!", hopped on her potty, and peed! You peed a second time that afternoon, while I was on the phone with work and not even paying attention, so when you told me and I saw, I cheered, and my boss said "Yay!", too. (She has daughters of her own, so I'm sure she could relate!) In the evening I had some work to do and you just hung out on our bed beside me while I worked; it was past your bedtime but I wanted to see if you'd go one more time on your own before we put you to bed. Sure enough, you hopped off the bed, onto the potty and pooped! We are so proud of how well you are doing, Lily!! Keep it up!!

One of your new favourite things to do is to help me in the kitchen whenever I'm making anything. As soon as you see a measuring cup in my hand, you informs me that you are going to help me and you just needs a chair, which you then pull into the kitchen from the dining room. I decided to make some coleslaw and lemon potatoes for part of our dinner and you helped with both, putting all the ingredients in the bowls and mixing it all up. When we were making the lemon potatoes, I realized as we were mixing that I didn't tell you what the ingredients were. So when we made the coleslaw mix, I told you what the sugar, salt, vinegar and celery seed was. You even got to try the sugar and salt... and vinegar. You insisted that the vinegar was water, so I got you to dip the tip of your finger in the spoon of vinegar to taste it. Yuck. At least now you knows what vinegar is!

On Friday, we got to see one of your other favourite people - your music teacher, Jenneka. You showed Jenneka how you take your shoes off all by yourself and was just full of things to say. When it was time to leave you made sure to say bye to Jenneka: "Bye! Bye, Jenneka! Bye!" Last week Jenneka was talking to one of the other moms when we left, and you got upset that you hadn't gotten a chance to say bye, so we had to go back inside after I strapped Lukasz in the car and say bye to Jenneka.

After music class I realized I'd forgotten to bring a snack for the car ride home, so we went to the mall for a treat. I wanted to get some frozen yogurt but we ended up getting ice cream. Fortunately the sugar didn't interfere with naps at all! In the mall elevator, you showed a lady your shoes and her skirt and told the lady, "We are going upstairs and we are going to have a treat!" When we got home, I wanted to make a lemon square for Aunt Nicole before we went to visit her at her new house. Lukasz had his nap, so you pulled a chair into the kitchen and helped me pour and mix all the ingredients - you recognized the sugar right away from when we had made the coleslaw mix on Thursday.

When we visited Aunt Nicole, (who now only lives 5 minutes away, hooray!) you was a little shy at first, but warmed up pretty quick, even with Nicole's parents. You spent a bunch of time keeping an eye on Lukasz, and finding him after he'd scurried off into a different corner of the house. He loved being found; shrieks and giggles echoed through the house every time you found him.

Yesterday we went to Konrad & Dominika's birthday party. Lily, you were a bit shy for the first little while, as was I because I only knew half of the people there. There were a lot of kids (nine, including you and Lukasz), but once Dominika sat down to play with her new hair styling toy you were right in there helping and playing along. It was so great to see you off and playing with other kids and not feeling too shy. I love seeing how gentle and careful you are with other kids, you talk to them all in that little sweet, quiet voice that sounds like mine when I'm talking to babies. You often want to help other kids and offer to share, or give them a quick kiss. You are the sweetest of sweet!

We love you so much!
Mommy

Well that made my day!

Lily,

We were grocery shopping this evening and I was holding you as we waited for a free cookie (for you) from the bakery department and a lady who was also waiting there said to me with a smile, "she is a carbon copy of you!". Aww. I guess I don't notice that you look like me, probably because I don't spend much time looking at myself. :) But I sure notice when you look like Gran, and I'll always remember how one of my high school tutors recognized Gran as MY mom because our smiles our identical. I guess that's a roundabout way of saying I've known all along that you look like me. :) It sure makes me proud to have such a beautiful daughter, and I'm flattered that people think I look like you. :)

Sweet dreams, sweetheart.
Mommy

Letter to Lily: month 30 (2 1/2 years old!)

Dear Lily,

Wow. You are 2 1/2. I've really fallen behind on writing monthly letters... but this is a great time to pick it up again because you've changed so much!

For a while there you were a bit anti-cuddle. I missed the snuggling days and thought they might be over... but I was wrong. Lately you like to be picked up more and more and if we sit down you'll snuggle into our laps almost every opportunity you get. I LOVE IT! I love having my cuddly little girl back, even if your legs hang way down off my lap now. :)

You speak pretty fluently now (to me, although I notice when other people don't get what you've said) and if I ever slip up and call something by your old pronunciation (chin-chin for chicken, chouch for couch, fety for sweaty, yo-yo for yogurt, ba-fa-hi for butterfly, etc.) you are SO quick to correct me. It's not chouch, it's a COUCH. Oops. Silly me. :)

You used to say thank you "doo-dee" but now it's more of a "dank you". And whenever we say thank you, you are quick to pipe up with a "you're welcome!". You went through a little phase of sighing and saying "okay, okay" when you agreed to something we asked you, like it was the biggest hassle in the world to play with play-doh, or go to the park or have a bath (which you quite enjoy now, except for the hair washing). Seeing these little flickers of attitude or behaviour of an "older" person (to use Uncle Shane's phrase) in you is a bit of a shock... but funny, too. If we sneeze now you say "bless you!" and you've started to do the cutest thing when one of us gets hurt, you come running and ask "can I kiss it all better?" and then you'll kiss our hand or elbow or knee and make it all better. This weekend an elastic snapped and broke in 2 peices while I was trying to close a bag so I yelled "OW!" and you came running and gave me no less than FOUR kisses on my hand, one of each place the elastic had snapped me. Those kisses definitely made it all better.

We are pretty careful with what you watch on TV. You only watch little shows on DVD that we've picked up for you (Madeline, Strawberry Shortcake, The Berenstein Bears, Max & Ruby, Timothy, and a bunch of Polish ones like Mis Usatek and Mis Kudlatek and Makowa Panienka) but time and again you will quote from these shows, phrases like "It's my FAVorite!" and "Gramma gramma look at me, I'm roller-skating!" and "I don't want that one!" and "I won't like it"... and I've seen you mimicking the show by pretending to bite your nails! I do my best to limit your TV time to just when I'm making dinner. Tatus and I wish we had a TV cabinet with a door so that we could hide the TV away until it's TV time.

This month was the start of something new for you, me and Lukasz - we started music class! It's been great for you. You love it. You aren't shy at all, and I think it helps that everyone in the class is younger than you. Your favourite parts are when we get up and dance to the music, jumping, marching, running and twirling.

In addition to the songs we are learning at music class, you've also been learning songs at Circle of Friends, like this one:



Other signs that you are growing up so quickly... you've started expressing a keen interest in dressing yourself. We've started with your pants, which you can't quite get up over your diaper yet, and your socks, which sometimes end up on upside down. But we're getting there! :)
game that's babcia

You're imagination has been blossoming these past few weeks, and recently you made up a game where you call us names of people who we clearly are not. For example, I become Babcia, Lukasz is Dziadek, and then I call Lily Mommy. Of course, you like to remain yourself when we play, so whenever I give you a different name, you reply, "No, I'm Lily!"


It's been a fun month, sweetie. Challenging, but fun. :) I'm so proud to be your Mommy.

Love,
Mommy

Letter to Lukasz: month 10

Dear Lukasz,

This has been an incredible month! At 9 months old you were occasionally holding onto the couch and pulling yourself up onto your knees. You sat up on your own and rolled, you were actually very good at getting around to different toys just by sitting, lying back and rolling. You sure find yourself in some strange places sometimes. Smiling, as always.

But THIS month. Holy cow! You started crawling, a couple of days later you were pulling yourself up into standing position with the help of the couch, your bed, the chairs, the computer, the windows, anything and everything you can crawl to. Now you go everywhere. And you are so vocal about it. You love to follow Lily (she's not too keen about you being mobile yet) and you get into everything. Of particular interest is Lily's little cd player, which has a small screen that glows blue when it's on. You beeline for that whenever you can, which is not good considering it sits on a small table next to our filing cabinet. Yikes. At the beginning of your crawling days (a mere... 2 weeks ago?) I could make a kind of pen for you using larger toys, the couch and a safety gate to keep you in the living room and away from the cd player and the oven, which is just around the corner. This confinement frusterated you more and more each day until finally you just started crawling over whatever was in your way, which was a bit humourous especially when you tried to crawl over a pillow only to get stuck with your legs kicking away in the air. Eventually you four-by-foured inbetween two little walkers and got to the cd player and since then, nothing standing in your way stops you. You even crawl over me. You are one determined little boy!




The first few days of you figuring out how to stand with help were proud days for you. You are smiley almost all the time, but this, this was BIG news.

Standing in your crib... so proud:

It was a tense few days for me because you were pretty tippy and I had to watch you all the time. It seemed like the moment I turned my head, even for an instant, the back of your head hit the floor. Thank goodness for carpeting and a wood frame building!! This floor is very forgiving. But now you've mastered standing and are even in control of when you want to sit down. It used to be that you sat when your legs gave out or you lost your balance. But now you let go of what ever you are holding on to and lean slowly back, bending as you go down so you wind up in a sitting position. You are in complete control the entire time! It's amazing to watch the incredible amount of control you've gained in a few mere weeks. Absolutely amazing.

Oh and of course there's that small milestone of your first tooth... and your second tooth. Yep, it's been a really busy month for you!

Did I mention how much you love cookies?
And how much we love to make you laugh? You are a joy-a-minute little Woochieslaw. You really are. So busy, so determined, so LOUD (you say tatatatata clearly now). And so very happy.

Love you to bits and bits,

Mommy

Letter to Lukasz: months 8 &9

Dear Lukasz,

So much has been happening in the last 2 months that I've only had time to write down little notes... but here, finally, is a little 2-month update!

Your nickname of Woochie has pretty much stuck. Even Babcia, Dziadek and Gran call you this now. Grampa seems to be the only one to still call you Lukasz. :) And sometimes when your Tatus and I are feeling goofy, we add little Polish word endings to Woochie, and you become Woochieslaw or Woochieslawek or we call to you "Woochieslaweczku" (Woochie-swav-etch-ku). I wonder what you are going to think of this! :)

You have been showing signs of teething for the looooooongest time, drooling, chewing on anything and everything that comes near your mouth. Your feet are your favourite though. Finally, just a few days ago, your first tooth arrived! I think it's taking you some getting used to because it's pretty sharp. But I'm sure you'll be chewing on steaks in no time. You haven't seemed too interested in pureed solid foods, and Gran says if you could talk you'd be saying "I don't have time for this mush, bring on the steak!"

You've also become very grabby in the last couple of months, with October being the month where you finally mastered sitting up on your own and now you can occupy yourself for a long time if there are toys within reach that you can grab and bring to your mouth. You like it best of course when Lily and I are there playing with you. You are very very sociable, and are definitely happiest when there are lots of people around. (Just like your Ciocia Natalya, with whom you share your birthday!) Lily is the opposite, she's happiest just being somewhere quiet and playing on her own or with me or Tatus. I wonder if you will help Lily come out of her shell a bit and be more comfortable around other kids as you get older. She's already really good about playing with you, sharing most toys, and giving you toys when they are all out of your reach.

Another not so great aspect of your grabbiness is that you love to grab skin, too. I never thought of my neck as "flabby" at all, but if there is any loose skin near you, you'll find it, and you'll grab it and squeeze it. Ouch! :)

These past 2 months we've also seen you pushing yourself up onto your hands and knees and, more recently, scooting backwards the length of the living room floor. I have a feeling crawling is just around the corner! I'm really wondering what Lily is going to think once you are walking and obviously not a baby anymore.

Talking is something you've started enjoying recently as well. I remember Lily's first sounds were "mamamamamama". Yours are "tatatatata" or "dadadadada". Evening is your most talkative time. Often you'll sit with Tatus and alternate talking and going really high-pitched with your "dadadas" and then you make this raspy rawr noise where you sound like a little a little monster that cracks us up every time.

You've become so much more interactive recently, and sometimes I feel guilty because I feel like I'm not giving you or Lily the amount of one-on-one attention you both deserve. But maybe learning to share Mommy like you both share your toys is a good lesson to learn. Neither of you seem unhappy with the way things are currently going, so maybe I just need to convince myself that I'm doing the best I can, and that it is good enough. :)

Recently, Tatus has started standing you up in front of the couch and you hold on and stand independently for a few minutes at a time. You're always watching Lily as she's on the move and I know you just can't wait till the day when you can let go of that couch and run after her.

I love you, my little Woochieslawek,

Mommy

Letter to Lily & Lukasz: making rough times better

Dear Lily and Lukasz,

It's a hard thing to acknowledge that I might not be doing the best by my kids. I've been so very tired these past few weeks that getting out often with you two has been, to say the least, a challenge. It's far easier for me to stay at home with you both. I'm shy, Lily's shy, so it's comfortable to hang out here, playing, colouring, watching a bit of tv together, and encouraging you both to play together a little bit. But as tempers have flared and some negative behaviours have been surfacing with greater frequency, I realized it was time for a major change.

So, now that I've finally really taken my mom's advice about having a schedule for each day planned out, and researched different parks and activites we can go, things are going much more smoothly. Mind you, it's only been a day and a half, but I can already see how it's so much better through Lily & Lukasz's eyes.

Yesterday went something like this:
7 a.m. awake, breakfast, dressed, bag packed
9:30: Circle of Friends
11:00: Home for lunch and naps. Lukasz napped from the time we got home till just after Lily woke up. Lily had lunch when we got home and went down for a nap at 1:20. Then I fed Lukasz his lunch and played with him and tidied up until Lily woke up, then she had a snack
2:30: a three-hour walk that includedplaying in 2 parks, feeding Lukasz, having a snack, and throwing rocks in a nearby lake.
Then it was 5:30 and home so I could prep & make dinner, which took me 2 hours since I was keeping them both occupied and tending to dinner at the same time. So dinner (marinated & sauteed chicken thighs with sauteed peppers, carrots & broccoli and rice) was at 7:30 and then Tatus got home around 8:30, ate his dinner and took you both for a 45-minute walk so I could have a shower and some down time. When you got back it was time for brushing teeth and off to bed. Both went down without a fight. Yes!

Today:
7 a.m.: Awake, dressed, fed, bag packed.
9 a.m.: Mundy Park: playground, hike to the lake and then back to the playground while Lukasz napped.
11:30 a.m.: Lily napped as soon as we got home. She actually asked "have a nap?" as soon as we got in the door. I fed Lukasz played with him and an hour later he went down for a nap.
When they woke up it was time for lunch, then out the door to buy veggies, mail letters, pick up package and off to the park to play some more.
5:30: home for dinner prep.

And we haven't yet gone to the Arenex at Queens park which is filled with gymnastic mats, rope swings, trampolines and lots of sports equipment and outdoor toys all in a huge gym. We haven't been to StrongStart yet either, but I found both a morning and an afternoon program very close to our home. AND there is a baby and toddler time at a local (and very near by) seniors' centre three days a week which is coordinated by the public library. All of these activities except the Arenex are free. And they are all indoor and run throughout the school year so we have plenty of activities to get us through the rainy times.

In the late afternoon is when I give Lily some tv time, that way I only have to juggle keeping Lukasz happy while I make dinner.

Motherhood is tough. No doubt about it. But I'm doing the best I can, and with you two along for the ride, I think I'm going to be just fine. You are great companions and wonderful cuddle-bugs.

I love you both!
Mommy

Letter to Lily: month 25

Dear Lily,

My method of disciplining you has come into question a couple of times, and that made me think that now might be a good time to explain it all to you, so later you might understand my reasons for raising you (and Lukasz) as I am. And maybe this will help you in some way when you have children of your own.

The essence of it all comes from The Way to Happiness, a book I read and studied when I was younger. There are two precepts I follow in particular with you: Treat others as you would like to be treated and Set a good example. Simple, really. Sure you are a child, but as much as I can I treat you as an equal. You are a person just like me, after all. And I do believe that all children are born brilliant. You continually amaze us with the speed in which you pick up new skills and new words, and how you react to certain situations using something you noticed or learned at a previous time. I try to let you experience life and everything in it with as little obstruction as possible. If there is something you want to touch that you shouldn't play with, such as one of my figurines, I let you hold it and tell you to be gentle. Once you are done looking at it, i'll put it back on it's shelf and tell you that it belongs to Mommy. This worked for my mom, and so far it is working well for me, too. Rather than telling you things are off-limits and saying NO! all the time, letting you look and touch seems to diminish your curiosity and you move on to more appropriate things, like your toys.

This isn't to say that there aren't times I have to discipline you. You started throwing dirt at the park and this was something I don't think you should do under any circumstances. It could get in people's eyes, and it makes everyone around you dirty. This was something I said "No" to, and also explained why, and then told you that dirt stays on the ground, or we can put it in your pail. You tried throwing it a few more times, but I repeated myself and then showed you how we can put dirt in your pail to make a castle. You haven't thrown it since. Now every time we go to the sandbox at the park you want me to help you build sand castles.

You also went through a phase of hitting me. I could tell by your face that you were curious to see what sort of reaction this would bring, and each time it was the same. I said "NO. Don't hit Mommy." Then I told you it hurts me. You've stopped hitting, and now when I hurt myself and say "ouch!" you come running and asked me what happened. I tell you how I hurt myself, and you often try to make it feel better. Lately, you blow on my owie and if I ask, you'll give it a kiss.

Speaking of hitting, your Tatus and I both agree that we will never hit or spank either of you as a disciplinary measure. I think that getting you to understand why what you did is wrong, and then fix it or apologize for it or somehow make up for what you did is a much better, more productive approach. When you spill something, I get you to help me clean it up. If you make a mess of folded laundry, I get you to help me put it all back on the couch or the bed. If you treat Tatus or I in a way that is not nice, I tell you it wasn't nice and get you to apologize and give us a hug & kiss.


This all has worked really well for you so far. There are times of course when you have a little spaz or tantrum, mainly when I turn the TV off after a certain amount of time (usually 1/2 hour) has passed. But distraction works wonders for you in these situations. I always try to have a plan of what we are going to do next, so the TV quickly leaves your mind and you follow me to the next activity or outing. Just now, for example, I turned the TV off and you asked "again?". I picked up one of your dolls and said, "oh, it looks like Madeline is getting sleepy" and rocked her a bit. I asked you if you wanted to put her down for a nap, and you held out your arms for me to give Madeline to you. Then you carried her down the hall to your bed.

Tatus calls this my "low-conflict" method. :) And I guess it's true. I am proud of the days when you do not get upset at all, when you treat Lukasz and I well, and we all have fun.

When you ask for help, I help you. If I'm in the middle of washing dishes or changing Lukasz at the moment I tell you I'll help in a minute and that I'm just doing something else. Then I always go help you with what ever it is. I've seen this come full circle more and more lately. You don't like the vacuum, but as soon as I'm done, you come running saying "help me! help me! cord" which means you want to help me wrap the cord up. The same thing happens when I'm doing the laundry. You love to sit on the dryer and help me throw clothes into the washing machine.

All in all, each day presents new situations, new challenges and new scenarios. Every day is a day of learning for me as I try to keep up with how much you are learning and trying to do and consistently stretching every limit you can. But I love you all the more for it, and I hope that my love, understanding, explanations and "low-conflict" discipline will guide you more effectively than a finger being shook in your face, or a spank across the bum would.

Potty training has been difficult, to say the least. I tried to ease you into it by putting you in cloth diapers so you'd feel when you were wet. It seemed to have no effect on you. You'd sit in a wet diaper until it soaked through the liner with no complaints. Then I tried letting you run around with no diaper on, watching you carefully and hoping that you'd complain when your pee ran down your leg. At first, I thought you'd held your pee until you couldn't take it anymore, at which time you peed while standing right next to me. I couldn't get you to your potty fast enough. Later that evening I discovered you had peed elsewhere, twice. Both times on your bed. I tried asking you every 10 minutes if you need to pee, but the answer was always "no". So within the last couple of days, I have started sitting you down on your potty when you wake up from your nap and before and after we go out. I'm going to start doing it more frequently than that in the coming week. So far this is working pretty well. When we first started trying to get you to just sit on your potty, you refused outright. If we sat you down on it regardless, you cried and flexed and wiggled and ran as soon as you could. I didn't want to force you because I figured if the potty became something you hated because we made you sit on it, potty training would take even longer. So I went the roundabout route with the above-mention tactics. Then, someone mentioned to me that giving you something while you sit on your potty can work wonders for getting you to stay put. So I bring small toys and books into the bathroom when I sit you on the potty, and I read you books and play with the toys with you while you sit there. This is working great so far. On Friday (the 5th) you peed on your potty twice. Yesterday you peed once, and so far today you've peed once (although I'm wondering if that was because you asked me to tickle you and I obliged so you were laughing pretty hard). :)


One thing I'm still worried about is that you haven't figured out yet how to pull your pants and diaper down. I'm going to have to practice that a lot with you in the coming days.

This has been a very busy month of changes for you. Not only have we started potty-training, but we are also trying to break you of your thumb-sucking habit. I read up on this and apparently it's acceptable until a child reaches the age of 3-5. For a young child, thumb-sucking is often a comfort. I certainly see that in you. And I understand completely--I still have my baby blanket and there are times I bring it out and knead it between my fingers for comfort as I did when I was a child.

Our reasons for getting you to stop now are two-fold. One, you started sucking your thumb so vigorously that the skin started cracking, peeling and bleeding. Two, we've noticed that your teeth are getting pushed outward by your thumb. You have an adorable, slightly buck-toothed grin that I love... but I'm thinking long-term and hoping you won't have to have a lot of work done to fix your bite.

So first I bought a soother that was supposedly appropriate for your age, although it is bigger than your thumb so I didn't know how you'd take to it. I think it was a novelty for you at first, having a soother just like Lukasz (you love to give him his soother when he loses it). But when it came time to sleep, the soother was nothing compared to your thumb. Then we noticed how cracked the skin was getting on your thumb, so I put a "sticker" (band-aid) on it along with some vitamin E to help it heal. You didn't seem too upset by this, you love stickers after all. But you did stop using your left hand almost entirely and always kept your thumb well out of the way of whatever you were doing. I've seen that you favour your left hand when eating and drawing and playing, so I hoped tht you'd soon see you could still use your hand even with a band-aid on it.

It's been a couple of weeks now that we've been putting "stickers" on your thumb, and while sometimes you do get upset when we are putting it on (and my heart goes out to you each time... I know how hard it must be to watch a thing of such comfort get taken away), you are fine afterwards and proudly show us your "sticker". And since I use the Elastoplast brand (super-sticky) you haven't been trying too much to peel the band-aids off. You did get one off once, but that's because it was peeling and needed to be changed.I have to say that even with the daily challenges, you are SO much fun to be with. Your level of understanding increases each day, as does your vocabulary, and not a day goes by that Tatus and I don't marvel at how clever you are, and laugh at all the ways you surprised us that day.

The skills you suddenly show us just blow us away some days. For example, we were at the park a few weeks ago, and you were playing on the slide and then you grabbed the sides of it and just walked all the way up it on your own without our help. I think your Tatus' jaw hit the floor when he saw you do that! And you've started playing catch with us, too! You have such an arm on you already--maybe you'll play softball like I used to!

We're really really lucky to have you for a daughter, and not a day goes by that I don't check on you after you've gone to bed, brushing your hair back from your forehead, pulling the sheet up that you've kicked off, and just looking, marvelling at what a beautiful talented daugher I have. The love I have for you is so strong it brings me to tears sometimes. And no matter how tough a day we've had, when I watch you sleep, part of me is anxious for it to be the next day again so I can hear you call me, and run to me and we can begin a new day of learning, adventures and fun.

Love,
Mommy

Letter to Lukasz: month 6

Dear Lukasz,

Where has the time gone? I look at you now and I can't believe how far you've come, how much you've grown in 6 short months.

I'm hoping you've been teething all this time, because this month was a cranky one. You didn't keep us up at night at all... but during the day it seemed you'd often get fussy as soon as Lily went down for her nap. You've mastered grabbing things and putting them in your mouth, which I also attribute to teething. You love to suck on anything that is cloth, and I can't count the number of times this month when your Tatus has been holding you and you grabbed his shirt sleeve and before he realized what was happening, his sleeve was soaking wet. You work fast!
You have also almost mastered rolling. You can get on to your side, and almost completely on to your front, but your arm gets caught under you and you haven't yet figured out how to pull it free. Soon enough. I'm sure you'll be rolling all over the floor before we know it.

You are getting cuter every day. Your Tatus noticed that your eyes are starting to change colour... will they be green like me or brown like your Tatus?Or will they change back to blue just like Lily's? Most people say how much you look like your Tatus... but I'm hoping you'll have brown hair and green eyes... like me! :)

You still have that crazy cute dimple on your left cheek, too. Making you laugh and smile and flash that dimple is one of my favourite things to do these days. I just can't get enough of you being happy. I get a huge lift just making you laugh or smile.

You sure are precious. We love you so very much, little Woochie (as Lily has nicknamed you, and we are now all calling you).

Love,
Mommy

a moment of peace

Dear Lukasz,

You are in the midst of teething, and you've been weathering it so bravely, sucking and chewing on whatever you can get into your mouth, be it your fist, your blanket, or my shirt. This afternoon has been particularly tough on both of us, you because of the teething, and me because you and Lily are alternating naps this afternoon. Most days you and Lily sleep at the same time in the afternoon, giving me time to clean, blog and eat. But today you can't sleep because of your teeth. I've tried holding you, sitting you up, laying you down... not much is working.

Just now you were laying on the couch with the fan blowing on you, and I leaned close to comfort you. You reached up with your hands, touched my face, and laughed.

Love,
Mommy

Letter to Lily: month 23

Dear Lily,

This month has been an introduction to the terrible 2s. NO seems to be your favourite word, and sometimes there are days where I wonder where my sweet baby girl went. I've become a master of distraction, because often I don't see the point in trying to force you to do something at that moment. I know there will be times when I'll need to discipline you, and I have had to raise my voice at you, and there have been times where I've shaken my finger at you, too. Some nights I lay awake feeling terrible because I yelled at you that day. But I guess we are both learning. So far, distraction seems to work best in situations where you are doing something you shouldn't be, or if you've gotten a hold of something, like my camera, that you don't want to give up. But each day is a challenge of finding ways to diffuse situations without either of us becoming upset. I know you are just asserting yourself and being stubborn and pushing boundaries (as I'm sure you will continue to do), and I really hope that you and I can always find some common ground to meet on without a major fight or upset breaking out. Perhaps this is idealistic, but I have this wish for us to always be as close as-- well, as close as a mom and daughter should be!

I firmly disagree with spanking or any kind of hitting as a form of discipline. And I think perhaps because of the difference in our childhoods, your Tatus and I disagree on this point. But so far you have not been spanked, even though there have been times where you have hit us. So far, our reaction is to shake our finger at you and say loudly "Don't hit." I think you are starting to get it. There are just somethings that you need to learn it's never ok to do, some things that you do that require a more stern reaction from us than others. And sometimes it is HARD to decide what is the proper action to take, especially when I'm feeling short on patience. But I think so far we are both doing pretty well.

On a lighter note, this month we had lots of outings--you had your first month of swimming lessons of which you missed 2 or three because you got really sick. The first lesson went really well because you were so darn excited to be in the water. But I think you just wanted to explore, play and do your own thing, not always what the teacher wanted us to do. Especially when it came to blowing bubbles in the water. Plus you have this habit of blowing UP when you tried to blow in the water, making your bangs ruffle instead of the water. :) Cute. In the last class you willingly went to the instructor as he was on the diving board, and he carried you to the end of the board (you were wearing a life jacket), crouched down, and dropped you into my waiting arms. And during almost every lesson you went under water as well. You passed the class, and we are very proud of how much you did participate. At the end of the last class you gave your teacher, Thomas, a high five, and after he'd left, you called out, "Bye Thomas!". This seems to be a habit with you, saying "bye" after the person has left. But you are getting better. :)

One action you have really mastered this month is RUNNING. You can really move now, and sometimes, especially when I have Lukasz in the stroller, it's hard to keep up with you!

Speaking of Lukasz, or "Woo-chie" as you call him, you are still a very loving and attentive sister. If he loses his soother, you are quick to put it back in his mouth, and there have been times when you've seen him drooling and wiped his mouth for me. :)

Your vocabulary has increased by leaps and bounds as well, and it's the most amazing thing to be around someone day by day as they learn to speak. Words stick in your mind at a rate that astonishes me some days. You are a master of descriptive words now, colours, sizes, shapes and numbers. You can count to eleven now, too!

I can't believe you are nearly 2 years old. I never imagined you would grow up this fast. I thought when I had a baby, I'd have a BABY for a while. But quicker than a wink it seems, you are off and running.Even though you are not much for cuddling right now, there will ALWAYS be room for you on my lap, no matter what.

I love you, my sweet baby girl,

Mommy

Letter to Lukasz: month 5

Dear Lukasz,

WOW you are FIVE months old!!!! And such a sweetheart. :)

This month has been all about laughing. You are such a sweet, happy baby. And really easy-going as long as we aren't late to feed you! :) You sleep through the night like a dream, and love to bounce in your blue chair, keeping an eye on everything that's going on around you.

I never imagined a baby could be so good-natured. The way your face lights up as soon as you see me, Tatus or Lily... it's just incredible.

We're so lucky to have you!

Love,
Mommy

Letter to Lukasz: month 4--with videos!

Dear Lukasz,

This past month has been wonderful. I often call you my dream baby... and I really don't see how you could possibly be an easier baby to care for. You've started sleeping through the night, falling asleep between 9 and 11 p.m. and waking up between 6 and 8 a.m., ready for+ a full day of eating every three hours.


You don't really cry unless you've had a long nap and it's been over three hours since you ate. Totally understandable!

And you are such a calm baby, you will sit and hang out with us, either in our laps or bouncing in your blue chair. You love to watch Lily play, and listen as she and I read stories. She often comes to say hi to you during the day, giving you hugs and kisses, and this attention always brings a smile to your cute little face.

Speaking of smiling, you smile a LOT now.
It's so easy to get a huge grin to break out on your face. Really, all I have to do is say "Hi!" to you, as I did in this video.

And to add to my never-ending delight, you now laugh!! :)
Instead of grunting when we tickle your ribs, now you give little chuckles. The same happens when I kiss your tummy. And often it's just the most random thing that sets you off, as in this video.

You are such a joy, such a good-natured and sweet baby. I can tell you can't wait to get mobile so you can really play with Lily. You've started to try really hard to roll to your left... and sometimes it's quite frustrating for you. But maybe this coming month you will surprise yourself and make it on to your tummy!

I love you so much, big guy!!
Mommy

Letter to Lily: month 22 (already?!)

Dear Lily,

Yesterday you turned 22 months old. I have no words to describe the past few months. I know it has been months since I've written you a letter... so much happens each minute of every day that I can't imagine recording it all, as much as I'd like to.

This past month has been all about talking... talking, talking, talking. You are still picking up words like crazy, every day... and now instead of just naming something like "ball" or "cup", it's "tiny ball" or "green cup". You know the difference between hot and cold, wet and dry and love to tell me when something I give you is hot or cold.

You've also been practicing numbers, and often I've heard you counting to yourself, like this: "one, two, four, six, one, fee (three), eight, one, two, fee, TEN!" A couple of days ago you surprised us by counting to ten by yourself with all the numbers in order. :) And today, you counted to eleven. I think this is because in your book One Fish Two Fish Red Fish Blue Fish, one fellow in it has eleven fingers, which we count.

My favourite thing that you've learned to say this month is "I love you"... it sounds like "I wa you" when you say it... but I love hearing it every time. There is a song on one of your cds that goes:

Skinamarinka dinky dink
Skinamarinka doo,
I love you

Skinamarinky dinky dink
Skinamarink a doo,
I love you

I love you in the morning
and in the afternoon,
I love you in the evening
and underneath the moon

So, Skinamarinka dinky dink
Skinamarink a doo,
I love you!

You've started singing it "dim be dim be dim be, I wa you!"


And I wa you, too, my baby girl. There is so much more going on... but now it's almost midnight and I need my sleep so I'm ready for whatever great adventures come our way tomorrow.

Love,
Mommy