BEADS

5:30 p.m. Standing in the kitchen cursing myself yet again for thinking that chicken salad is such a great dinner choice as I furiously chop chicken, celery and green pepper into minuscule pieces. I glance at the clock and chop faster, this sucker has to chill for at least an hour and I am HUNGRY.

Every evening I prepare dinner with both ears trained toward wherever Lily and Lukasz have to be. Tonight was going surprisingly well; there were the usual crashes of toys, but they were accompanied by murmurs and giggles instead of the usual shrieks and yells of an indignant Lukasz as Lily parades around with whatever toy he's decided he wants held high above her head.

And suddenly, silence.

Then Lily speaking slowly, and in awe, "Wow. That's a lot of beads."

I freeze, hoping against hope that she's referring to the big wooden beads she threads on shoe laces. I ask mildly, "What beads?" as I come around the corner into the livingroom where Lily and Lukasz are crouched over a suddenly rainbow carpet.

Lily says quickly, "Don't worry Mommy, we're cleaning it up."

There, on and IN the carpet, are hundreds of tiny beads that Lily recently acquired for making jewellery.

I breathe deep. Lily repeats herself, "Don't worry Mommy, we're cleaning it up."

I start helping them clean, watching as they sweep the beads in a pile with their hands, effectively pinging the beads backwards with every sweep.

I think of the dust buster. The dust buster that ran out of charge the last time Lukasz was playing with it.


So we knelt there for over a quarter of an hour and picked all. those. little. beads. out of the carpet. After I'd gotten all I could see, I combed the carpet with my fingers and watched in satisfaction as more tiny beads came pinging out from where they were hiding.

Then I went back to my chop-chop-chopping and made a delicious chicken salad, which, of course, Lily and Lukasz turned their little noses up at.

Ain't parenting GRAND?

Learning the hard way

Yesterday was a rough day. There was a lot to do, and a lot of things to take care of and we were due at a barbecue at 4 p.m. My entire day revolved around getting everything done and ready so we could get to the barbecue by 4 p.m. Getting four people ready for a day away from home is not easy. At least, not for me. Figuring out what everyone is going to wear, making sure it's clean, that every one is bathed or showered, fed, napped, and packing everything we might possibly need - diapers, wipes, changes of clothes, baseball gear, bubble soap, fixings for a salad I made, evening bottles, Lukasz's blanket and soother for the evening, camera, sun hat, etc., is always a good trick. Often I'll think one kid is ready, get the other ready, only to find that the first is now hungry or has pulled off and lost their socks, or doesn't want to wear their shirt I picked out, or just filled their diaper.

Because our Saturday morning was so busy with Lily's music class, Tom didn't have a chance to make his homemade pancake breakfast for us. So he did that on Sunday morning, then we dashed out to the farmers' market and to a nearby rose garden, home, I bathed the kids, prepared them some food, put Lukasz down for a nap, set Lily up with her keyboard, and got everything packed up while Tom showered, then Lukasz woke up grumpy and very upset, pretty much inconsolable, but we were in a hurry so he got rushed out the door, lunch packed in a plastic bag to eat in the car.

We got to the barbecue in time, but for most of the time, Lukasz was inconsolably unhappy. Everything we tried to do resulted in a big "NO!". The only time he was quiet and happy was when he was out for a bike ride on a push bike. Thinking back now, I should have taken him for a much longer ride. But it's killer on the back, trying to keep the bike going straight when he hasn't quite grasped the concept of steering yet.

I know this is all sounding like one big whine, but I do have a point. :)

This morning, I was calm, and kept my temper in check even when they were arguing, I didn't raise my voice, I guided them from one thing to the next - dressed, have breakfast, brush teeth, shoes on, out the door, in the car, to the park... and both kids were perfectly happy. They both got fresh air and space and freedom, which is much like what they had at the barbecue, but this time, I wasn't a mess. I wasn't a bundle of frayed nerves. I wasn't stressed out to the max just trying to be on time.

I've heard time and again that kids feed off our emotions. And they absorb them. And it's totally true. I look at yesterday's nuttiness compared to today, and I look at the difference in the kids, especially Lukasz:

- Yesterday the smallest thing would set him off. He'd want a bit of long grass to use as a fishing pole, but the second you handed him one, he didn't want one and would pitch a fit. It was completely ridiculous.

- Today I went through the motions to get him ready for his nap, he had lunch, I changed him, darkened their room, made sure he had his blanket and his soother, and before he lay down he came to me for a hug, and as his face was resting against my chest, he said, "I love you."

Just like that, the horrors of yesterday faded away.

Don't let the darkness in

This evening I drove with the kids to Staples to get a refill for my day planner, and as I turned on cbc radio, Lily said, "Mommy, this is your very favourite song". I had no idea what was playing. I waited till the end of the song, and the dj said it was Don't Let the Darkness in Your Head by Blue Rodeo.

Beautiful song. I'd never heard it before. Totally fitting since today was definitely classified under Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad.

Somehow it feels like she dedicated this song to me, and that makes it all the more touching.

Thanks, Lily. ♥

Combating hitting.

Lukasz and Lily have begun the stage of hitting each other. They occasionally see other kids and siblings having play fights so I guess they are trying it out. Hitting is something I have no tolerance for, and I established rules fast. Lukasz does most of the hitting, so he goes to his room more often than Lily does. I leave him there for a few minutes, explaining why he's there, then I bring him back out and explain again and get him to give Lily a kiss and tell him he should say sorry.

Just now he took another swipe at her, so I put him in his room. Lily told me she wanted Lukasz back. I told her he'd hit her so he needed to stay in his room for a few minutes because it was not okay to hit anyone. She said "Maybe I can hit you for a while." Great. I said "We don't hit. We do not hit people we love. We hug them."

Then she smiled. And gave me a big hug.