Learning the hard way

Yesterday was a rough day. There was a lot to do, and a lot of things to take care of and we were due at a barbecue at 4 p.m. My entire day revolved around getting everything done and ready so we could get to the barbecue by 4 p.m. Getting four people ready for a day away from home is not easy. At least, not for me. Figuring out what everyone is going to wear, making sure it's clean, that every one is bathed or showered, fed, napped, and packing everything we might possibly need - diapers, wipes, changes of clothes, baseball gear, bubble soap, fixings for a salad I made, evening bottles, Lukasz's blanket and soother for the evening, camera, sun hat, etc., is always a good trick. Often I'll think one kid is ready, get the other ready, only to find that the first is now hungry or has pulled off and lost their socks, or doesn't want to wear their shirt I picked out, or just filled their diaper.

Because our Saturday morning was so busy with Lily's music class, Tom didn't have a chance to make his homemade pancake breakfast for us. So he did that on Sunday morning, then we dashed out to the farmers' market and to a nearby rose garden, home, I bathed the kids, prepared them some food, put Lukasz down for a nap, set Lily up with her keyboard, and got everything packed up while Tom showered, then Lukasz woke up grumpy and very upset, pretty much inconsolable, but we were in a hurry so he got rushed out the door, lunch packed in a plastic bag to eat in the car.

We got to the barbecue in time, but for most of the time, Lukasz was inconsolably unhappy. Everything we tried to do resulted in a big "NO!". The only time he was quiet and happy was when he was out for a bike ride on a push bike. Thinking back now, I should have taken him for a much longer ride. But it's killer on the back, trying to keep the bike going straight when he hasn't quite grasped the concept of steering yet.

I know this is all sounding like one big whine, but I do have a point. :)

This morning, I was calm, and kept my temper in check even when they were arguing, I didn't raise my voice, I guided them from one thing to the next - dressed, have breakfast, brush teeth, shoes on, out the door, in the car, to the park... and both kids were perfectly happy. They both got fresh air and space and freedom, which is much like what they had at the barbecue, but this time, I wasn't a mess. I wasn't a bundle of frayed nerves. I wasn't stressed out to the max just trying to be on time.

I've heard time and again that kids feed off our emotions. And they absorb them. And it's totally true. I look at yesterday's nuttiness compared to today, and I look at the difference in the kids, especially Lukasz:

- Yesterday the smallest thing would set him off. He'd want a bit of long grass to use as a fishing pole, but the second you handed him one, he didn't want one and would pitch a fit. It was completely ridiculous.

- Today I went through the motions to get him ready for his nap, he had lunch, I changed him, darkened their room, made sure he had his blanket and his soother, and before he lay down he came to me for a hug, and as his face was resting against my chest, he said, "I love you."

Just like that, the horrors of yesterday faded away.